Just to let you know, I have edited the first paragraph six times already. Editing for me is a compulsion, which is why I enjoy my job as an editor so much. There is a drawback though because every time I read a book, I can’t help making pencil marks in the margin where there are errors. This compulsion is annoying to say the least, so recently I tried to break the habit. I was given Richard Osman’s book, The Thursday Murder Club, for a Christmas present and because he is such a master with words, I decided to put away the pencil, as it would be rude to mark his novel – not only that, it’s the hardback copy, and I didn’t want to spoil it.

By the end of the first page I was agitated. There were two question marks that I felt were not needed, but I forced myself to overlook them. And so the journey continued – pencil marks not included.

It did make me wonder if Richard Osman had over-edited his first page to the point of adding question marks unnecessarily – or maybe I’ve got it wrong? I’m sure he’ll tell me one day if he gets the chance. Writers know how important that first page is to draw the reader in. It’s the hook that counts, so first pages have to be perfect. I have to admit my first pages and often the first three chapters are edited at least 100 times, if not more, and I’m not joking. 

I don’t recommend this. It’s an obsessive state to get into. I literally have to be sick of reading my novel before I stop editing it. And I’m sure this manic frame of mind is not healthy. It has, however, illustrated to me how over-editing can ruin a story, so taking from my experience, I would suggest the following editing tips as a bare minimum for writers setting out on a journey to write a novel. The support of other writers is essential. I have assumed the work is being written on a computer.

FIRST CHAPTER

• Let your first draft flow and don’t attempt to edit any of it, but do correct anything you realise is wrong. 
• When you’ve stopped writing, read the chapter aloud to yourself – sometimes a Scottish accent helps, I don’t know why. If you’re Scottish maybe you have an advantage – or perhaps you should be reading yours with an English accent? Let me know.
• First edit: make improvements to the text as you go. I do everything on screen at this point, although you can print your pages off if you prefer. Hopefully things are going well and you’ve got a decent hook on the first page.
• Next print a copy of your first chapter in double spacing and read some – or all of it – to other writers, for instance in a writing group (on Zoom during lockdown obviously). Alternatively exchange your work with other authors so you can help each other constructively. Changes should be marked in red pen on the manuscript, (or however you agree to do it if you choose to exchange work by email). Only make changes to your manuscript if you agree with them. Sometimes your gut feeling will override the helpful comments of others. Stick with what you know feels right. It’s your novel, not theirs. Make a second edit.
• Read your amended work aloud to your writing group in your normal voice, (I once tried a northern accent and got slated for it by two northerners in the group), or read it to yourself (Scottish accent optional) to find out if the improvements work. If there are further improvements, make them in your third edit.

FURTHER CHAPTERS

• Continue adding chapters as detailed above until the novel is complete. On some occasions you might write three or four chapters before editing. If you’re in the writing mode, don’t hold yourself up with editing. Let the writing flow, then edit.
• You won’t be able to read every chapter to a writing group, so choose the areas where you have a difficulty or are feeling unsure about whether or not the dialogue is working. You will know when you need help.

THE COMPLETE WORK

• Major edit: read the entire work on screen (not aloud this time) and edit as you go.
• Put the work aside for several weeks or months if you have the time to do so.
• Finally re-read and edit as you go. 
• I recommend printing off a hard copy of the whole novel and asking another author to do a novel exchange with you. They read yours and mark it, and you read theirs and mark it. With any luck, it will only be spelling, grammar, duplication, inconsistency and other minor elements that need attention at this stage.

Don’t scrimp on editing because your first draft is rarely publishable – even if you think it’s a masterpiece, it probably isn’t. 

Editing is never a waste of time, so don’t tell yourself off for overdoing it. But you do need to know when to stop. If you get carried away, like I do, it’s often your characters that put an end to it. You will change something and then have to change it back to exactly what it was before, generally to please your characters. At this point, accept you are done. At least for the time being.

Sometimes you may need to put work aside for years like I did with my first novel The Whispering Waters. I naively thought I’d written a bestseller and publishers would be fighting over it. I received several rejection letters after submitting the first three chapters. Undeterred I joined the Romantic Novelists Association and sent them the entire manuscript. It came back stinking of smoke and had a pretty upsetting report with it that I squirrelled it away for years. You have to be tough to be an author and needless to say, I didn’t renew my membership with the RNA. It didn’t stop me writing though and I wrote several more novels before feeling brave enough to look at The Whispering Waters again. It was then that I realised the person who had critiqued my precious manuscript had made some helpful suggestions. I’d interpreted them badly. After working on it and almost doubling the word length (which proves how much was missing from the story) I self published a book I felt happy with. Publishers are still not fighting for it, but as I’m a publisher, I feel justified in saying that I fought for it and the conclusion is a satisfying one. It’s received good reviews. If you read it, leave a review and let me know what you think.

And in case you are wondering, if I was to read it again, I know without doubt that I would want to edit it some more.

Some things never change.

Happy editing.

Easter Monday 2000: To Mum and Dad

Turbines on the mountain 

Beyond the spreading beech tree

Swish in the early morn

As a hearty cockerel

Hails the dawn

Punctuating the perpetual noise from

the rookery 

A pheasant’s harsh shrill

Slices the crisp, chill air.

Closed cups of tulips point skywards 

And daffodils like silent periscopes

Shake their heads in a tiny breeze

Birdsong bombards the vapour thin air

Melodic blackbirds, cooing doves,

Sweet sounding robins and chaffinches

The endless chatter of starlings and twitter of sparrows 

joined now and again by the haunting cry 

of a curlew, stark among the fields where swallows fly 

And lambs bleat

White blossom weighs heavy on the trees

Flies gather like pin pricks of dust in the warm sunshine

Dogs bark, jackdaws squabble and the cockerel reminds us it’s dawn

Across the timeless green sweep of hills 

But even this cacophony cannot hide the echoes from the past

The heavy-footed herd that trod the earth with

Udders swinging and milk bursting forth

Their inquisitive snorts and plaintive bellows 

Now consigned, invisible behind stone walls 

A plane rumbles deep in the throat of the sky

As turbines turn beyond the spreading beech tree

(written after mad cow disease, BSE, and all the cows that filled the fields in Aughton, Lancashire, had been slaughtered)

That’s any easy one to deal with. Search for the word using the search and replace facility and correct it at the push of a button.

Here’s another. You may have added a new character and you’re not sure if they’ve acted consistently, or they may have had some dark thoughts in the wrong place (who doesn’t?). As you do your read through, highlight his/her paragraphs in red throughout the manuscript. At the end, you can copy and paste all the red comments into a new document and read them chronologically. You will soon find if his/her behaviour goes out of sequence. This method will also allow you to expand on the character if you want to.

The seasons? Yes, these can be bothersome because you might forget whether it was winter or spring three chapters ago. Again, as you read through, highlight the weather reports, maybe in green.

So now you have your new character highlighted in red and your weather reports in green. Blue comes in handy too in case you hit another crisis.

I sorted out a few inconsistencies from my most recent novel in this way and it also helped strengthen my storyline.

Happy editing.

First, decide where you are going to send your report: radio, website, newspaper, magazine. Each will have different requirements so do your research into house styles and word lengths. 

Who? Why? What? Where? When? These are essential ingredients so make sure you answer the questions.

Put the most important fact or person first. On many occasions I have been sent reports about official openings and the person officiating isn’t mentioned until the last line. Don’t do this. Mention them in the first sentence.

Avoid starting an article with a date or the weather conditions unless these are the most important things. 

Research using reliable sources.

Where possible include interviews to add weight to your article but keep it balanced. Don’t embellish the text with your own opinion. Use speech marks correctly.

Write in a chronological and logical order and don’t make assumptions. If there are holes in the report fill them with facts not fiction. 

Write in the third person. 

Decide on the length of your report and work within this boundary. 

Be succinct, it is perfectly acceptable to have paragraphs of just one sentence in length. A good newsy story will have a snappy rhythm so don’t slow it down with flowery language. Stick to the story and don’t go off at a tangent. Resist inserting your own anecdotes. 

Don’t over write. For example, 200/300 words is a good length for a news report for a community magazine. Don’t be disappointed if your article is reduced in size, this will be to fit the available space. 

Let the opening words of each paragraph tell a bit of the story. Many people skim read and will pick up on the first few words of each paragraph and then shut off. Get as much information into those words so if they are the only ones that are read, they give the bones of the story. 

Be consistent and make sure people’s names are spelled correctly. As an editor, I find it annoying when a report is submitted where the name of a person is spelt in two different ways and believe me, it happens.

A good photograph will help an editor choose your report over others and remember to include a caption.

Add a heading, but don’t be surprised if this is altered. Editor’s rarely use the headings supplied.

Don’t be repetitive unless you are writing for a website.

Don’t switch tenses.

Don’t use fancy fonts or colours and don’t over-use capital letters. There is no need to underline anything.

If you want to include contact phone numbers or email addresses, leave them until the end.

Proofread and spellcheck your report before you submit it.

Finally, remove all those exclamation marks you’ve put in – they are rarely necessary. 

When emailing reports always put an attention-grabbing few words in the status line eg HORSE FALLS DOWN CLIFF. Don’t put: article, news item, press release, report. Your email could get lost among hundreds of others if the status line is poor.  

Remember to include your name and a telephone number.

Happy writing.

Drink plenty of water. How many times have you heard that piece of advice?

Yet how many of us manage the recommended 1.5-2 litres (around 3 pints) a day?

In our household there are two who do and another who has finally got the message – that’s me.

Having watched my son and husband suffer the agony of a crippling pain, I am the latest member to join the exclusive ‘kidney stone club’ in our cul de sac.

Not only have three people in our house been caught out by these evil, spiky calcifications that manifest themselves in the kidneys, but one of our neighbours has too.

All of us have gone through excruciating pain and various treatments. My son was unfortunate to be in severe pain for a fortnight before passing a stone. A scan revealed further stones, and he was lucky to benefit from pulverisation or lithotripsy. This is when the stones are literally pummelled to pieces and become much easier to pass.

My poor husband also had several stones and some are still in his kidney. A stent had to be inserted under general anaesthetic and this procedure did not go smoothly, leaving him in less pain but with plenty of anxiety until the stent was removed some months later. Similarly our neighbour has undergone stent surgery.

In my case, it all started late on Thursday – the evening of the second lockdown – 5 November: bonfire night. 

Relentless and vicious pain

The only fireworks I remember were inside my body. The relentless and vicious pain was in the left side of my stomach under the rib cage, like a knife perpetually twisting inside me.

My husband wanted to call an ambulance because he recognised the symptoms, but I blamed the prawns on the pizza we’d eaten earlier and declined. With his help I got into bed and tried to relax. Luckily the pain subsided and I went into a deep sleep. 

On Friday morning I felt fine, completely back to normal. I even spent 20 minutes hanging on the phone to cancel a blood test the following week at our doctor’s surgery because they’d had cases of COVID-19 and I wanted to be on the safe side and not go in until the quarantine period was over. 

Feeling relaxed, I carried out a little research on the Internet and passed off my pain the night before as a bout of colic. I thanked my lucky stars that I hadn’t ended up in hospital needlessly, especially as we have been shielding since March, and with COVID-19 on the increase it was the last place I wanted to go. 

Unfortunately, I was forced to rethink my self-diagnosis about an hour later because wham! I was on the floor in agony, sweating and retching. I struggled to bed and expected the pain to die down as it had done the day before. How wrong could I have been.

Ambulance called

This time my husband rang NHS 111 and an ambulance was called at around 11am. This was because there was no possible way I could have gone to A&E and sat in a waiting room. I was advised to take painkillers and as the day wore on, I had to crawl to the lavatory more times than I can count in severe pain. I also felt like I was going to burst, but couldn’t pee more than a drop.

At around 4.30pm I was still in agony and, because the ambulance was taking so long (I was low priority, and it took over six hours), my husband called the doctor who prescribed stronger painkillers. These were collected from the chemist and brought to me by my son. He arrived around the same time as the ambulance sometime after 5pm.

The instant the paramedics walked through the door, the pain stopped. I couldn’t believe it. They pressed my stomach, took my blood pressure and temperature (I’m sure the thermometer wasn’t working) and said I was fine and did I still want to go to hospital.

My husband strongly suspected kidney stones and I knew by the relief in his eyes when the paramedics arrived that my best option was to go to hospital. At least I would get a diagnosis. Also, half-an-hour before the paramedics arrived, I’d gone through an uncontrollable shaking and shivering episode and didn’t feel right despite there being no pain. 

Heading rapidly towards a hotbed of Covid cases

Masked up, I got into the ambulance and despite the fact I was heading rapidly towards a hotbed of Covid cases at Royal Bournemouth Hospital, I felt oddly relieved to be going there. On arrival at A&E, I was admitted and waited on a chair in the corner of the ward. I felt absolutely shattered, and dozed. All staff wore masks and some had Perspex visors. I kept my mask on at all times.

A cannula was fitted in my arm, blood was taken, as was my blood pressure and temperature and the nurse tried not to look alarmed, but made a hasty exit. She came back with paracetamol and said I had to take them. I explained I wasn’t in pain, and she said they were to bring down my temperature. Apparently it was really high – no wonder I felt wiped out. I carried on dozing, grateful for my own company.

Likely to be a kidney stone

Once my temperature was down, I was moved to another A&E ward. This time I was given a bed. A doctor examined me sometime after 7pm. He said there were several possibilities, but it seemed likely that I’d had renal colic due to a kidney stone and that I should stay overnight and have a CT scan in the morning.  A short while later another doctor performed an ultra sound scan of my aorta. This proved satisfactory. I even managed a urine sample, which was found to have blood in it. 

They moved me to the renal surgery ward (Ward 18) at around 9.30pm. I managed a couple more specimens before falling into a deep sleep. A doctor woke me up at around 4am and shone a bright light in my face. The phrase, ‘Ve haf ways of making you talk’ sprang to mind. He said doctors worked through the night, and then he scared me by asking if there was a history of bowel cancer in the family, which there is. This put a new seed of doubt in my mind over the prognosis. However, I was so tired, I wondered if I had dreamt the entire episode.

Covid test

The next morning I was given antibiotics for a urine infection, and a test for COVID-19. Luckily the only pain I had was a gnawing headache. I asked for a painkiller and was offered a suppository! For a headache? I said I’d rather have the headache, so the nurse fetched me a paracetamol. Nobody offered me food or drink, not even water except with the paracetamol. I was on nil by mouth, which worried me. 

The ward was full of ladies aged between 19-94 in varying degrees of pain.

CT Scan

At around 9.30am I was taken for a CT scan. By midday I was told I had a kidney stone and it had got stuck between the kidney and the bladder. The good news was that it was small, (4mm), and I could go home. The doctor said he thought it would pass during the next week or so and a follow-up appointment would be booked.

At last I was offered a sandwich but the euphoria of eating was brief. The cheese and onion white triangle was so disgusting I couldn’t eat it. It still gives me a bad taste in the mouth when I think about it now.

A nurse arrived to take more blood. They’d tried earlier, but I’d refused arguing they’d already taken a sample. This time I agreed. 

Time to go home

I was given strong painkillers to take home with me, told my Covid test was negative, and one of the doctor’s assistants checked the scan report at my request and said the stone was in the bladder and that I might pass it without even knowing. I felt a bit mixed up at this point, because I thought the doc had said it was stuck. Anyway, that was the sum of the advice. Nobody told me I had to drink lots and lots of water, but having two experts at home who had been through the same gruelling experience, and who continuously slurp water, I have been downing pints ever since. I’m pretty sure I haven’t yet passed the stone. My follow up date is 8 December. 

Have a pint on me

Next time you go into your kitchen, have a pint on me, it might save you an incredibly painful experience that can spring on you without warning.

Summary

In my short time at the hospital I felt safe and secure and was extremely grateful for a diagnosis. This outweighed all my fears of being in a hospital with COVID-19 patients and I would stress, if you need to go to hospital – go. 

I didn’t notice people in beds in corridors, but the hospital was very busy and wards were full. The corridors I travelled along were deserted. The current ‘no visitors’ policy seems to have had a positive effect on the hospital and the way it runs. The nursing staff were lovely. 

I was told later that Ward 18 had been split in half and the other half was a Covid ward, but I would never have guessed. It made me feel slightly alarmed, but in my 24 hours at Bournemouth hospital, I never heard a single cough. Even I found that unusual, considering the time of year.

THAT – mainly superfluous. Reread a sentence and if it sounds right without that word – leave it out.

ALWAYS – it’s rarely true, so find another word.

ABSOLUTELY – often redundant.

AMAZING – if everything is amazing, nothing is.

REALLY – used to modify a verb or adverb and there is no need to use it. E.g. really beautiful could be stunning. 

NEVER – rarely true, so find another word.

DONE – use something different e.g. completed, finished, carried out.

JUST – weed this filler out.

WENT – instead use drove, walked, ran, flew – you get the idea.

VERY – lazy way of making your point. Very sad could be depressed. Very happy could be ecstatic. Use the thesaurus on the Internet if you can’t think of an alternative.

SUDDENLY – everything happens suddenly, so it’s 99.9% superfluous.

Another tip. If you feel you are over-using a word or phrase, carry out a search function of your finished novel to find out the frequency. That way you can change the text where necessary and make it stronger.